For years, I thought if I just found the right system, the perfect launch plan, the right energetic state, everything would click. And things did click… for a while. Until I crashed again and again and again, not because I didn’t want it enough or that I didn’t have the mindset. Nor was it because I wasn’t smart or strategic enough, but because my nervous system wasn’t regulated enough to receive what I was building.

You might be thinking: What does my nervous system have to do with anything? 

It’s not a ridiculous question. We’ve been taught to only care about our marketing campaigns, leads, closing out deals, and KPIs, but nothing about the relation between our nervous system and how our business responds to it. 

That was the missing piece in my own journey, too! And the turning point for so many of my clients. 

This is the missing link that so many business programs and even trauma-informed spaces gloss over: your strategy is only as effective as your body’s capacity to hold it.

Regulation vs Expansion (and Why You Need Both)

A regulated nervous system is foundational. It’s the ground beneath your business, and the kind of soil you use can either topple down the entire thing or stay strong through unexpected earthquakes (figuratively speaking). 

But there’s another layer that we don’t talk about enough, and that is: Expansion.

In today’s world, especially with the online business space, just being regulated isn’t enough. The level of visibility, energy, and capacity required from us is immense, and if our nervous system hasn’t been conditioned to hold that (and most of ours haven’t), we will subconsciously block the very things we say we want.

Ever find it so ridiculous how we are so hooked to our phones, tablets, and laptops almost 24/7 yet sometimes barely find the energy to respond to one message or email? As human beings who are not supposed to be connected to a multitude of people and messages within a millisecond, this is exhausting. And so, understandably, having to be “on” all the time could fry our nervous system.

This is why regulation is so important.

What does regulation feel like? It’s when you’re grounded. Present. Able to be with discomfort without spiraling. When your energy doesn’t swing wildly between excitement and dread. When you can post online, pitch your offer, show up to a call without panicking or procrastinating or wanting to run away.

On the other hand, expansion is when you begin to stretch your edges within safety. Not the old “bro marketing” mantra of “get outside your comfort zone,” but expanding your comfort zone. Little by little. Gently. Intentionally. 

Expansion asks: how good can you let it get? Can you allow more ease? More clients? More visibility? More pleasure?

Why This Isn’t a Mindset Problem

Let me be clear: if you’re here, reading this, investing in yourself, showing up in your business, your mindset is probably not the problem.

What you’re experiencing is likely protection, not procrastination.

When your body doesn’t feel safe, it will do everything to stop you from doing the thing it perceives as a threat. Whether it’s launching, hiring, being seen, or even receiving money. It’s not logical, but it is biological.

This happened to me a few months ago, when a video of mine went viral. I didn’t feel excited, as any other person who has a social media presence is expected to feel. Instead, I froze. Completely. I was flabbergasted. This is because (I later realized), that my body had no previous blueprint for that level of attention. It didn’t matter how many times I journaled “I’m ready to be seen.”

While I have been working on regulating my nervous system for the past few years, sometimes things like that just hit you and you’re confronted with these common dysregulation reactions: fight, flight, freeze or fawn.

The Four F’s (Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn)

Here’s how nervous system dysregulation might show up in your business:

Fight: You’re hustling, overworking, trying to do more, batch more, force more, but you’re disconnected from presence and purpose.

Flight: You’re avoiding. Spinning. Rebranding. Jumping from one strategy to the next. Constantly in motion but not actually moving.

Freeze: You’re overwhelmed. Numb. You know you “should” be doing things, but you can’t start. You’re waiting for clarity but it never comes.

Fawn: You’re people-pleasing. Undercharging. Over-delivering. Saying yes when you mean no. Your boundaries blur.

Most of us have a dominant response, but they can all exist in different seasons. I personally flip between fight and freeze, depending on the situation. And that’s okay. Awareness is the first step!

Healing Isn’t Just About Trauma

Therapy and trauma healing often focus on regulation, which is beautiful and necessary. But the work doesn’t stop there. There’s a whole layer most of us never touch: pleasure. Expansion. Joy. Safety in success.

Many of us come from lineages where survival was the goal. Our ancestors weren’t trained to hold abundance, ease, or global attention, they were trained to outlive their tribe and withstand natural disasters or man-made catastrophes. They were always on the lookout for the next threat to their existence. 

When we try to bring abundance and ease into our bodies now, it can feel unsafe, even though it’s what we consciously desire.

Think of your nervous system like a container. You can patch the holes and get it stable (regulation), but then you need to widen it to hold more (expansion).

I see this in business all the time, and strategy isn’t usually what causes burnout. The nervous system is. You collapse, not because of the plan, but because your body says, “Too much, too fast!”

So What Do We Do?

We start simple. We start somatically. Nervous system work isn’t meant to be mystical or complicated. In fact, some of the best tools are incredibly basic: A cold splash on your neck. Hugging your dog. Pressing gently into your belly button (yes, really!) Naming five things you see, four things you hear, three you can touch.

There are so many tools and techniquest that we can use to bring ourselves back into the body and the present moment and out of the spiral. 

So far, it’s been incredibly helpful in all areas of life! One of my clients used these tools before walking down the aisle at her wedding. Another used them right before her first big launch. One even used them in the middle of a meltdown, standing in her kitchen, completely frozen. It’s not about getting it perfect. It’s about having tools that anchor you.

Expansion is a Practice

Four words to practice expansion: You must feel good. 

I’ve been going to the gym five days a week for 14 years. Not because I want to lose weight. Not to grow muscles. But because it feels good. I go for the pleasure.

That’s the secret: expansion work must feel good. If it doesn’t, it’s not expansion, it’s more fight/flight dressed up as “discipline.”

In quantum business, pleasure is a frequency, and your nervous system must be trained to hold that. You have to love what you’re doing to radiate the magnetism that brings clients, connections, and opportunities to you. And no, you don’t fake it. You build it. Bit by bit. Breath by breath. Post by post.

You Are Not Broken

If you felt overwhelmed reading this, please know: you are not broken. You’re probably not lazy, inconsistent, or disorganized. You’re likely just dysregulated.

You don’t need more willpower. You need more safety. You need tools. You need awareness. And you need a space where your body can catch up to the level of success your soul is calling in.

This is why nervous system work is the missing link in so many quantum business teachings. Because you are the vessel. Your body, your field, your frequency.

Let’s stop trying to leap out of our comfort zones. Let’s expand them!

See also

Your Business Energy Field: How to Work on It Energetically

The Soul Business Revolution: What It Really Means to Build a 5D Business